


Lights Changing Colour

by KuroRiya



Series: Stars [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Slow Build, Trans Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Trans Male Character, better safe than sorry, brief mention of vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 10:14:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3406901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroRiya/pseuds/KuroRiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting Erwin Smith for the first time had been, in a word, embarrassing. At the time, Levi wasn't entirely aware of how much embarrassment he was causing himself, but to be fair, he wasn't given all the details. But then, that was getting ahead of things. A painfully slow tale of finding love when you've forgotten how to. Side story for Take me to the Riot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lights Changing Colour

Meeting Erwin Smith for the first time had been, in a word, embarrassing.

At the time, Levi wasn't entirely aware of how much embarrassment he was causing himself, but to be fair, he wasn't given all the details.

But then, that was getting ahead of things.

He wasn't sure why he'd agreed to go to the party. He'd come to hate office parties in recent years. In fact, he'd learned to hate the entire idea of the common business man. Call it bitterness on his part. You wouldn't be wrong. Getting fired because of a gender identity could leave one feeling a little less than pleased.

Still, Levi was nothing if not a masochist, in his own right. He hated few things as much as businessmen, and so, inevitably, he always managed to wind up dating a businessman.

For them, he was likely some strange, fetishized fling. That's what it always wound up being. At first, they'd make him feel like he meant something. He knew better, yet he was unable to convince himself of this fact, always desperately clinging to some ridiculous hope that he was too smart, too experienced to truly believe in. Yet he wanted to.

So he'd let them have him. His walls would bend to let someone get a glance at what he was, what made him up. But then they'd be promptly closed out. No one was allowed inside. No one had been in a very long time.

It was a simple enough reason.

He was looking for a resident, not a tourist.

Still, he couldn't help himself when someone wanted in. He'd blame it on his damnable hormones, or his troubled teenage years. Whatever the cause, he wanted someone to hold him, wanted someone to want him. There was nothing that validated him quite as well as being wanted by someone.

And so he agreed to come to the stupid office party. His hatred for the setting was placated by the fact that, for the first time in a long time, a boyfriend actually wanted to be seen in public with him.

So he put on one of the expensive black suits he used to wear every day. The nicest one. And he cleaned himself up, made sure he smelled nice, made sure he looked like he belonged among the crowd he was about to be socializing with.

His boyfriend came to pick him up, nodding with approval at his attire. Try as he might, Levi couldn't remember the man's name anymore. At the time, it was constantly on his lips, but years had dulled the memory. It was something stupidly common. Adam, or maybe Sam. It didn't matter.

They drove to the office, and Levi was introduced to the coworkers. An entire flock of disgustingly successful businessmen. He didn't so much mind the leers and jokes made at his expense, because they were all relatively harmless, more of a compliment, seeing as they had quickly accepted the somewhat-taboo relationship with very little question. They were also flattering because, as was quickly becoming clear, they had no idea what he had between his legs. He was effectively passing, then.

He sipped at the disgusting champagne, despite hating the stuff. He'd told his boyfriend about it, too. But he knew that it was sort of a social requirement in that situation, and he knew he'd do better if he got a little buzz. It was easier to exist among the hated men if he had something to numb his edges.

Too many glasses of champagne later, he was draped against his boyfriend's side, mostly oblivious to the fact that all the gathered men were laughing at his expense yet again. He didn't really care, anyway. With a warm arm wrapped around his waist, he felt more bliss than he had in a while.

That was, until he saw a familiar face.

Even through the haze of the bubbling alcohol, the face brought up memories for the short man. Memories of his own businessman days, memories of confiding, then memories of ceaseless questions, memories of being shoved into the bathroom, memories of tugging hands and suddenly finding himself exposed, every part of him that he considered personal suddenly on display for the small crowd of coworkers that had thought themselves entitled to know exactly what was between his thighs.

His body shuddered, subconsciously pressing closer to the man beside him.

The familiar face approached, lips pulling into a twisted smirk as beady eyes traced over his form, recognizing. Levi trembled, knowing what was to come, entirely unable to stop it.

Sure enough, not even five minutes later, the previously friendly men were looking at him as if he was from a different universe. His boyfriend had pulled away, arm yanked to his side as if he'd suddenly been burned by the slightest contact with Levi, his eyes wide, nervous, afraid.

"I had no idea. I haven't had sex with him…" He claimed, a weak defense. A lie. "Didn't even mention that he had a vagina."

Levi's vision spun, unable to meet any of the eyes on him, too busy trying to remember whether his feet were on the ground or the ceiling. The room just kept rotating, faster and faster, the men gathered around speaking, their voices getting louder but words sounding less and less like any language that Levi knew. Their faces elongated with the motion, differing expressions melting into one malicious smirk, a hideous chealsea grin that laughed and laughed and he was going to vomit.

Without sparing a glance at those gathered, he bolted from the room, footsteps quick down the spinning hallway. He wasn't sure where he was going, he couldn't really see, but he needed to get away. Away, so far away.

He bumped into something sturdy, maybe a wall, maybe a piece of furniture, but he didn't have time to distinguish what it was, because it was then that his stomach reached its limit and emptied itself.

Too much champagne. Too much embarrassment. Too much dysphoria.

He groaned once he managed to calm down, staggering to his knees and just letting himself rest, trying not to look at the mess he'd made, trying not to look at the shoes he'd vomited all over.

Oh god.

He dreaded facing the person he'd managed to throw up on, but knew he ought to do it sooner rather than later, face turning up and eyes squinting against the persistent swirling that still hadn't completely subsided.

Even once he had managed the motion, it took his eyes seconds to halt the world so he could really see.

The eyes were an incredible blue, vibrant but hard, stern looking. They caught his attention, and for a moment, he just stared. He could blame it on being drunk, if he needed to.

The man didn't seem angry, though. In fact, he looked more concerned than anything, stooping down and brushing some hair out of his eyes that he hadn't noticed had fallen out of place.

"Are you alright?" The blonde asked, offering a hand.

Levi just stared, glancing between the disgustingness that was the man's shoes, his fault, and the disgustingness that was the man's kindness. Judging by his clean-cut appearance, expensive-as-hell shoes that Levi was likely going to have to replace, and the suit, he could assume the man was among the ranks of the white collars.

He stood shakily, not taking the hand, forced to balance himself against the wall. Like hell he'd take any handouts, no matter how innocent and kind they may seem. He gave his body rather easily, but never his trust.

"Sorry about your shoes. I'll buy you new ones." He offered.

The man glanced down, as if noticing the state of his shoes for the first time. He only seemed mildly bothered.

"Don't worry about it. I can just get them cleaned." He reasoned. Levi snorted, not a fan of the falsified humility. To say that he could get them cleaned instead of buying new ones was humble, but being able to afford to get them cleaned at all was proof he was several pay grades above Levi. He hated it, hated being subordinate.

"Whatever." He huffed, making to walk down the hall. He had no idea where he was going, but away was the general idea. Still, the spinning wasn't entirely gone, just dulled down to a jarring visual vibration. It made his steps unsteady, and he couldn't help but keep his hands pressed to the wall as he tried to move.

The blonde, all concern and good intentions, was quick to wrap an arm around his waist. If he'd been in his right mind, Levi might have been jealous of how masculine the guy really was, one hand nearly spanning his entire side, hip to ribs, easily steadying him.

He wasn't in his right mind, though, and all he did was lean into it mindlessly, too used to seeking any physical touch to remember that this was a stranger.

"Where are you going?" The blonde asked, holding him in place while he questioned him.

He should have slapped the hand away. He should have walked away. He should have run away.

But he just felt so tired.

"…I don't know, anymore." He sighed, drooping. The man easily held his weight, even with just one arm. It was true, in a way. He could go home, but that felt wrong, somehow. It didn't feel safe. It was full of memories of the boyfriend a few rooms away. The boyfriend that was likely going to slap him, scream at him, demean him, hate him for making a fool out of him in front of his coworkers. Then he'd leave.

He wasn't ready to deal with that just yet. He needed to recoup, gather himself. If he was going to have to deal with that situation, he wanted it to be when he was fully prepared, both mentally and physically. Currently, he wasn't either of those things.

The blonde frowned, shifting his weight so he was more upright.

"Are you here with someone? Would you like me to get them for you?" He inquired. His eyes went wide, though, when Levi shot away, pressing himself to the wall and as far from him as he could manage.

"No." He snapped, hardening himself enough to glare, hoping that would be enough to deter the stranger. The blonde seemed to take the hint, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Alright, calm down. Why don't you take a seat." He urged, nodding towards a very modern looking black sofa, shoved against a wall with a pretty potted plant. Levi would have scoffed, but he feared the action might upset his stomach again. Instead, he shakily complied, legs wobbling under him as he stumbled over.

The blonde remained nearby, clearly ready to catch him should he fall. Thankfully, he managed to spare himself that embarrassment, collapsing onto the uncomfortable sofa with a sigh. The blonde relaxed when he was safely seated, and he took a few steps to get close enough to speak comfortably.

"That's better, hmm? Now, why don't you tell me what's the matter? Too much champagne?" He guessed. Levi rolled his eyes. Under normal circumstances, it would take him a year and a half to get drunk enough to throw up from champagne. But the alcohol, coupled with the horror of the situation he'd just escaped, had a rather nauseating effect on him.

"Something like that." He replied, keeping his eyes trained on the ruined shoes. "Go clean your shoes." He suggested, huffing. Sitting was definitely a good idea, but now he was sort of stuck until the dizziness wore off. Hopefully the man would take a hint and take a hike.

Of course not.

He bent over and undid the shoes, taking them off and placing them behind the pot of the plant. His socks were black, professional grade, but still ridiculous to see as he stood in the hallway of an executive building, all suited up and likely on his way to the party.

Levi couldn't laugh, though, the absurdity of it all a bit too jarring. Here was a successful man; In the span of less than five minutes, Levi had thrown up on him, yelled at him, and made it clear he wanted nothing to do with him. Yet here he stood in his socks, pausing a moment before taking a seat on the sofa as well.

He could feel his body tilting towards the man's with the dip of the couch, but he couldn't be bothered to shift away. He let their thighs press together in the scant space, mind idly registering that maybe the casual contact wasn't normal, but ignoring the thought in favor of the feeling of just touching someone.

"Do you have a name?" The man inquired after a pause. Levi gave him a pointed look.

"That's sort of standard, you know." He groused, crossing his arms over his chest. Of course, his name had a lot more meaning to him than to most people. To him, his name was a reaffirmation of his masculinity, proof that he had cut ties with the gender his parents had named him for, proof that he was a man, in soul if not body.

The blonde chuckled, lacing his fingers in his lap, the motion looking so elegant, somehow.

"My name is Erwin Smith." He offered, as if hoping for a trade. Levi narrowed his eyes.

"…Levi." He finally replied, slouching back against the couch, head tilted so that his eyes were parallel to the ceiling, where he traced nonexistent patterns. Erwin didn't question his lack of last name. Levi was glad he'd be spared the trouble of explaining that he'd been disowned by his family, and he had therefore disowned their name.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Levi." Erwin said, turning his way with a small smile. "Might I ask what you're doing here?"

Levi sighed, crossing his ankles.

"I don't even know, anymore." He finally laughed, smiling like a psychopath at nothing in particular.

There was yet another beat, then Erwin smiled as well.

"That's rather cryptic." He pointed out. Levi snickered, the action uncharacteristic. It made him feel a bit like he'd lost touch with his sanity, but, in perspective, the whole day was simply laughable.

"Life's cryptic." He argued, tilting his head to glance at the blonde. This earned him a smile. A careful, professional, charming smile. Fuck.

"That it is." Erwin agreed, his toes curling in his socks. "I can infer that you aren't keen on talking about it. Is there anything else I can do to help you?" He asked.

Levi was surprised for a moment. This sort of consideration was typically not shown to him, so it was a bit of a shock. But, he had to remind himself, this was all part of the 'good businessman' façade. Everyone loved a Good Samaritan, after all.

"If you could destroy every even vaguely corporate institution, that'd be jolly." He sassed. His eyes were trained on the ceiling again, but he could see the quirk of a thick brow out of his peripheral.

"Judging by that suit, I'd say you know the corporate life rather intimately." Erwin guessed. Levi let out another little bout of laughter. Absurd. This whole interaction was so absurd.

He was so tired.

"Do you wanna fuck?" He blurted. He couldn't be bothered to be embarrassed by his forwardness though. Not even when Erwin gave him a mildly surprised look. The blonde took a professional moment to himself to think about his response before opening his mouth to deliver it.

"Would that help you?" He asked.

Levi's mind halted for a moment, his eyes flicking back over to the blonde. Despite the meaning of his question, he seemed relatively unfazed, as if they were simply discussing what they ought to get out of the vending machine. As his mind raced, his lips curled up into a grin.

"Do you want to help that badly?" He inquired, sitting up. Erwin looked across the hallway, eyes directed at a generic painting of a field.

"It's in my nature, I'm afraid." He replied, turning back to Levi with a small smile.

He wasn't sure how they got from the towering office building to a horribly modern penthouse apartment, and, frankly, Levi didn't much care. He could vaguely remember getting into a car, but beyond that, the whole exchange was a blur.

It was a nice place. Nicer than his, by far. Erwin must have been pretty high on the food chain. But it didn't matter, not really. He wasn't here to get to know the blonde. He was here to feel wanted, just for a little while.

The blonde had helped him out of his suit jacket, taking his own off and hanging them up in a closet near the front door. He was still in only his socks. Levi allowed himself a tiny smirk.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd offer you a drink." Erwin began, walking towards the kitchen. "I have a decent collection. But I think you might have had enough today."

Levi scoffed, following him to the spacious room, looking around fleetingly.

"I'm not drunk." He griped, arms crossed yet again. Erwin let a brow quirk, staring him down for a moment before shrugging.

"What would you like?" He wondered, turning to a cabinet that boasted a wide collection of bottles.

"Whiskey." Levi replied without hesitation, waiting for the man to comply. "Don't give me a shot glass." He added when Erwin reached for one. He didn't question it, grabbing an ice glass instead.

Levi watched him pour the amber liquid, accepting the glass and partaking in a gulp without much caution. It was smooth, expensive. He finished the glass off.

"Slow down." Erwin suggested, taking the cup away and placing it in the sink. "As much as you might want to argue, you're definitely still drunk. Keep drinking at this rate, and you'll throw up on my suit next."

Levi huffed, the acrid aftertaste of alcohol reappearing as he did.

"I'm not a child." He spat, glaring at the taller man. Erwin only smiled, hand coming up to brush some more hair aside.

"I never said you were. I simply said you were drunk." He reasoned. It didn't make Levi feel any better, but he wasn't here to argue.

"Whatever. I don't care. Let's get on with it." He urged, turning to seek out the bedroom, or a couch, or even a table. He didn't care anymore where. It was just a means to an end, after all.

Erwin followed him when he walked down the hallway, not stopping him from opening up each door to determine what was inside the room. He eventually found what he was looking for, and let himself into the bedroom. Erwin followed, not arguing when Levi shut the door.

They stared at each other for a moment, then Levi held his arms out, as if presenting himself.

"Go on." He urged, taking a step forward. Erwin didn't move, though, remaining annoyingly passive. Levi's eyes narrowed, arms dropping to his sides. "The fuck's the problem?" He demanded, glaring.

Erwin didn't respond. He was so calm. It was infuriating.

"Fuck, fine, I'll do it." The shorter man snapped, fingers moving to undo the buttons, motion quick with practice. Once they were all undone, he pushed the shirt off, standing before the blonde yet again.

He watched those blue eyes trace over his body with new interest, though his face remained impassive. What was he thinking? Reactions had always been big; disgust, or excitement. He couldn't read this, he couldn't guess what the man was going to say.

"Surprised?" He asked, his insecurity guarded by biting sarcasm.

Erwin's eyes found his, and he finally moved, taking a step forward, arms easily circling his frame, the embrace encompassing. But that was the only move made. Erwin simply held him, the time spanning, bordering on uncomfortable.

"…What the hell? Use your fucking words." Levi growled, pushing the man away. Erwin simply resumed the eye contact, staring until Levi shifted, an arm subconsciously grabbing the other, a weak attempt at covering his chest.

It was then that Erwin moved, using his long legs to stride quickly to a closet that he disappeared into. Levi's eyes, narrowed, followed the motion.

What was he doing in the closet? Levi dreaded to think what he might have hidden in there. Too many times he'd been asked to humor some sick kink of seeing a transgender person reduced to the thing they hated the most. Too many times he'd agreed. Too many times he'd put on some frilly lingerie or panties that hugged him in ways he swore he'd never know again. Too many times he'd sent himself into a panic attack, shaking in a shower that could never wash away the memory or the dysphoria.

Erwin didn't come back with any lingerie, though. He had a shirt. A simple t-shirt. Without any warning, he stuffed the collar over Levi's head.

"You shouldn't sleep in that binder." He offered, as if that was an explanation. Levi's mind couldn't process it, couldn't keep up. He wasn't able to read the situation; he didn't know what was happening. Not knowing frightened him.

Erwin sighed, kneeling before him after a moment. His hands trailed up the shirt, about a million sizes too big for Levi, and rested at the hem of the restrictive fabric, pausing a moment before dancing along till they found the hooks keeping it in place.

He got one open, looking up to gauge Levi's reaction, which was still nonexistent as the smaller man tried to catch up.

One by one, each one popped open until the binder was completely undone. Levi could feel the release of pressure, his lungs drinking in air as if they couldn't get enough. It was always a bit of a shock how much the binder really restricted him until he had it off.

Another glance, then Erwin was carefully maneuvering under the shirt, looping the binder over his head and carefully shoving his arm out before pulling it away, reaching for the shirt Levi had discarded and hanging them both in the closet.

Mechanically, Levi pushed his arms through the holes of the shirt. The collar spilled over one shoulder, the fabric bunching at his elbow. Even on the side that was hitched up it fell to his thighs. The fabric was soft, though, a welcome feeling after the binder.

Erwin returned from the closet, kneeling yet again and wordlessly helping Levi out of his shoes and then pants, folding them and putting them on a table.

For a moment, they just stood and stared at each other, Levi in some state resembling shock and Erwin apparently comfortable with just standing and staring at random transmen he'd brought home from the office party.

"…What the hell?" Levi finally managed, eyes narrowing. "What's with this shirt?" He demanded, pulling it away from his frame as if to display it.

Erwin looked confused, as if Levi was the one doing strange things.

"It's to sleep in." He replied.

Another pause, time spent calculating exactly what that meant. Then Levi screamed.

"You are insufferable! Are you kidding me? I didn't ask if you wanted to take me home and tuck me into bed, I asked if you wanted to fuck!" He shouted. He rarely shouted, rarely let himself feel enough to shout. But he was tired, his defenses were down. He was just too exhausted to save face anymore.

"Is it because I'm fucking trans?" He guessed, sneering. "You too good for me?"

Erwin hadn't even flinched, hadn't stepped back or looked apologetic. He just remained expressionless while Levi worked himself up. When it became apparent that the shorter man didn't have anything else to say, he parted his lips.

"I don't think I'm too good for you, and your gender is of no consequence to me. I just think you're too drunk to consent." He offered, his body language suggesting openness as much as it proclaimed his stern stance.

Levi gaped for a moment, eyes wide, then his entire demeanor shifted.

"I'm not drunk you asshole. I'm a grown fucking man, I'll decide whether or not I want to fuck." He seethed, teeth clenched in something akin to a snarl. Erwin was unfazed.

"You are drunk, and I'm not going to let you talk me into taking advantage of it. If you still want to when you sober up, then we can talk about it. For now, I'm going to get you a glass of water, and I hope you'll stay here and sleep it off." He explained, as if reasoning with a petulant child. It made Levi feel like a petulant child.

His stubbornness to disobey waged war with his stubbornness not to perpetuate his childishness. In the end, his need to be treated like and adult won out, and he huffed, stomping towards the bed. He didn't look, but he could practically sense Erwin's encouraging smile.

The blonde vacated the room, leaving Levi alone to climb up onto the absurdly large mattress. He was unsure of whether he ought to pull the blankets up, and, after debating a while, he opted to just sit atop them, arms crossed and scowl in place as he awaited Erwin's return.

When the larger man reappeared, he smiled yet again, handing Levi a glass of water and waiting till he'd sipped down half of it before taking it and placing it on one of the bedside tables.

He walked to his closet, disappearing yet again. Levi knew he was still present, but object permanence was a tricky subject with him. He quickly required confirmation.

"This bed is huge. Where's your wife?" He inquired. He didn't actually care beyond a distaste for waking up to a screaming, betrayed woman. Too much experience.

Erwin chuckled as if he'd seen right through Levi's ruse, but he played along.

"I'm a bachelor, believe it or not." The blonde replied from the walk-in. Levi glared in the general direction, huffing to himself.

"That's what they all say." He shot back.

Erwin came back out, now clad in some comfortable looking pyjama pants, and smiled.

"You don't have to believe me, if you don't want to. It doesn't really matter to me." He said with a shrug.

Levi chose not to answer, focusing his energy instead on glaring whole-heartedly as Erwin turned the covers on the other side of the bed up, slipping in without even sparing a glance. Shameless.

He got himself situated, then clapped, the overhead going out. Levi could only roll his eyes at the disgusting show of prestige, hardening his glare in the dim table-lamplight. Erwin finally returned the eye contact, his ridiculous eyebrows raising in a fake show of innocence.

"Want to cuddle?" He asked.

Levi scoffed, ripping the blankets out from under himself and burrowing down, pulling them over his shoulder as he turned to face away from the blonde. He heard a chuckle and a click, then the room was dark.

To spare the details, it was a fitful sleep. He woke up more times than he could remember in varying stages of hung over. At some point, Erwin had migrated over and forced him to cuddle, ignoring his previous rejection. Levi would swear he was simply too miserable and worn-out to fight. He'd also swear that Erwin was the one that had scooted his way. Levi lied to himself a lot.

He woke in the afternoon, squinting already against the sun and a headache. He didn't even have to look to reach over and gulp down a pile of painkillers that he knew Erwin would have gotten for him. And, despite knowing that they didn't work that fast, he allowed the placebo effect to lessen the pressure building in his skull.

Erwin himself was not in bed. It wasn't a surprise. Judging by his character, he had either escaped to his office and would expect Levi gone before he got back, or he'd be in the kitchen making them breakfast.

The smell of bacon that began wafting into the bedroom answered that question, and Levi groaned, sinking back into the bed, as if the blankets might hide him from his own shame.

Admittedly, he was embarrassed. While he'd never confirm that he was drunk, he had definitely made a lot of bad choices the night before. He'd shown one of the ugliest sides of himself, one that he did everything in his power to hide. He'd acted like a selfish brat, and he knew it.

Erwin's disgustingly kind nature only made it that much worse. That he'd taken it all with good graces only made Levi feel worse. He'd honestly rather deal with an angry wife.

He wasn't given the chance to muse the pros and cons of each situation, Erwin letting himself into the room with a tray full of food that he'd apparently just cooked. Levi groaned.

"Get out of here with your fucking domestic bullshit." He growled. Erwin only laughed, sitting on the bed and waiting for Levi to sit up.

After a one-eyed stare, the smaller man did, glaring as the tray was placed on his lap. It was a perfect hangover breakfast, the damn considerate bastard. He stared at it, daring it to be any more perfect. Eventually, the food won out, and he got to work on eating it.

Erwin got up, leaving him to eat as he returned to the kitchen, the sound of running water announcing that he was doing the breakfast dishes. It was all so horrendously normal, so average, it unsettled him.

Still, he wasn't about to pass up a free meal. Food was food. He could escape when he'd finished. That's what he told himself, even though he knew it would take him longer to eat than it would take Erwin to do the dishes.

Sure enough, the blonde reappeared, taking a seat where he'd slept the night before. Levi shot him a look, nearly missing his mouth as he refused to look away to take a bite. Erwin caught the mistake and chuckled.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, lacing his fingers in his lap, posture poised even as he reclined against the pillows. Fucking professionals.

"Like a shit taken backwards." Levi replied without missing a beat, taking another needlessly-aggressive bite. Erwin's smile didn't falter, though.

"That's unfortunate. You're welcome to a shower, if that'd help." He offered. Levi scoffed, finishing the food and shoving the tray towards the foot of the bed.

"I can shower at home. Where are my clothes?" He asked, scooting out of bed and finding his footing in the plush carpet.

"In the closet. I ironed your pants and hung them up as well." Erwin replied, not moving from his position. Levi rolled his eyes, groaning internally.

"I fucking hate nice guys." He groused, walking into the closet and glancing around the ridiculous amount of clothing gathered until his eyes found what he was looking for, made obvious by the size difference.

Erwin chose not to comment, and Levi was left to get dressed. He hated wearing the same thing twice, but it would have to do until he could get home.

After he got his pants on, he pulled the binder over his head and began the dance of trying to get the hooks done up, fingers struggling at the awkward angle.

After a minute or two of fruitless agony, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before heading out of the closet. Erwin was still on the bed, looking perfectly content to do nothing at all, but he gave Levi his attention when the man appeared.

"Help me." Levi sighed, holding his arm up to display the hooks. Erwin didn't protest, getting out of bed and coming to the smaller man's side. He knelt down, then got to work, pulling the two parts of the fabric together as tightly as he could before getting to work on the hooks.

It took him about thirty seconds, and it was annoying how much faster that was than when Levi did it himself. He didn't comment though, going back into the closet to put his shirt on

Erwin followed him to the door, getting his jacket for him before opening it. Levi narrowed his eyes, looking the blonde up and then down.

"No guilt trip? You're not going to try and make me stay? Not going to make me pay for your shoes?" He questioned, a thin brow quirked.

Erwin smiled.

"Would you like a ride?"

A ride in a shiny new Saab and a few miles later found Levi at his apartment, stepping out of the car more expensive than his entire life several times over with as much grace as he could. Before he could retreat inside, though, Erwin reached out and grabbed his arm.

Levi didn't have time to demand what the hell he wanted before a business card was slipped into his hand, Erwin flashed him another smile, and drove off.

As he would come to find out, after getting inside, Erwin Smith was in fact Erwin Smith, the CEO of his boyfriend's company. Ex-Boyfriend.

So, in effect, he'd made an utter ass of himself to one of the most powerful men in town. He'd thrown up on his shoes. He'd eaten his food.

He wanted to die.

But instead, he shoved the card in a drawer to be forgotten, went to work, and got on with life. For the most part, he forgot about the awkward night he'd spent with an unreasonably friendly rich man. He broke up with the boyfriend, put the entire company out of his mind.

It worked for about a month.

He found the card again while he was cleaning, squinting at it as he pulled it from the drawer. It was simple, not bothering with any fancy designs, only the company's logo serving as a distraction from the name and credentials presented.

Levi rolled his eyes, turning it over in his hand, contemplating just throwing it away. But the back caught his attention.

A phone number was written in pen, the numbers straight and perfect, and the words "we can talk about it" written underneath. It made Levi's eyes widen, able to remember the moment Erwin had said those words.

He was sober now.

How he convinced himself to call the number was a mystery, but, when it was picked up on the second ring, he couldn't back out. Not when he heard that infuriatingly smooth voice say hello.

"Uh." He replied eloquently, shaking his head at himself. Why was he so terrible at existing?

A pause, then an audible intake of breath.

"Levi?" Erwin guessed.

How he'd known, Levi couldn't even begin to guess. Luck, maybe. But the fact that he'd been recognized did things to his stomach he didn't care to admit to.

"Um, yeah." He agreed, taking a seat on the sofa and running a hand through his hair. He could practically hear Erwin's smile.

"I've been hoping you'd call."

Ugh. He couldn't do this. But now he couldn't hang up either. He was royally fucked.

"It's, uh, the middle of the day on a Tuesday. You're working. Sorry. I didn't think." He muttered. "Sorry for bothering you." He said, switching hands so he could hang up.

"It's fine. I'm not busy." Erwin assured, nipping that escape in the bud. Levi bit his lip, settling back in, mind racing for what he ought to say. "Believe it or not, CEOs tend to have a decent amount of down time." He said with a chuckle. Levi could hear the squeak of his office chair, assuming the man had leaned it back to talk.

"I can only imagine." Levi droned.

He realized that he wasn't even entirely sure why he called. What did expect to gain from it? What did Erwin expect to gain?

"Why did you give me your number?" He asked. There was a pause.

"Well, people typically give out their numbers in hopes the recipient will give them a call. And, considering the conversation we're having, it would seem that my hopes were fulfilled."

Levi scoffed at the sass.

"You know what I mean. What do you want from me?" He clarified.

A soft hum, as if Erwin was considering it.

"I could ask you the same thing." He pointed out. "Why did you call?"

Levi didn't like having his questions turned on him, and he was sure the blonde was aware of it. That made it even more infuriating.

"I called to listen to the musical tone of your voice." He bit, making sure even an idiot could hear his dripping sarcasm. Erwin didn't sound offended, though, laughing.

"You're such a pleasant conversation partner." The man joked. Levi didn't laugh, but he relaxed back into the couch.

"I try."

Another silence, this one long, maybe a little awkward. Levi was typically good at ignoring people, but he felt like he was wasting the man's time. He hated to waste time.

"So, seriously. Do you want to fuck?" He inquired.

"How about dinner first." Erwin shot back, just as quick. Levi quirked a brow.

"Where?" He wondered.

A beat.

"Do you like sushi?"

The next thing he knew, he was getting picked up in a Mercedes and driven to the most expensive sushi place in town.

"I literally cannot pay the bill." He warned as he got out of the car. "So don't expect me to politely argue with you over it before coyly handing it over. If you can afford to have more than one obnoxious car, you can buy me some sushi."

Erwin chuckled, urging him forward gently with a hand at the small of his back. It wasn't even dropped as they entered, skipping the line entirely and simply getting nodded on by the waitress. Levi rolled his eyes. Fucking rich people.

He wasn't complaining about half an hour later as he shoved the best sushi he'd had into his mouth with reckless abandon. Very tidy reckless abandon. Erwin only smiled, bemused, occasionally risking an arm to take a piece for himself.

"You seem to like food." He commented, likely recalling that Levi ate just as ravenously when he'd prepared breakfast. Levi paused, doing his best to keep his eyes focused while his vision retreated back to memories better forgotten. Memories of hungry. Memories of never enough.

"I guess." He shrugged, taking another bite to excuse himself from further conversation. Erwin, apparently, knew how to take a hint, and let the subject drop without a protest. It wasn't until the sushi was gone and dessert ordered that he spoke again.

"I hope you don't mind sharing with me. It's honestly big enough to feed four, but-" He began, his voice the definition of small-talk. Levi scoffed.

"Spare me the pleasantries." He droned, sipping at his tea. Erwin let his mouth shut, quirking a brow.

"Your blunt attitude intrigues me." Erwin announced. Levi gave him a look.

"The size of your dick intrigues me." He shot back, pointedly ignoring the stares he was getting from a nearby table. That finally seemed to throw Erwin off his game, an accomplishment that made Levi proud. He recovered quickly, though.

"Well, you can explore that at a later time." He suggested, also pointedly ignoring the stares from the neighbor table. "But at the moment, I'm trying to have a conversation with you."

"Many have tried, few have succeeded." Levi said, staring at nothing to his right. He didn't want to talk. That's not what they'd met up for.

"If you aren't interested in talking, then why did you agree to go on a date?" The blonde inquired.

A date. He'd called it a date. Shit on a stick, Levi had fucked up. A date? A date. The CEO of the biggest company in town had asked him on a date.

He was young all over again, new and scared and throwing up with nerves at the prospect of a date. Of spending time with someone who wanted to know him, wanted to learn his facets and the way he thought. Someone who wanted to learn to love him.

A date.

"I need to go." He said, standing up just in time to nearly knock over the waitress who just barely managed to catch the dessert before it hit the floor and shattered.

"Sorry." He bit, scrambling to maneuver around her. Erwin didn't let him get far, a strong hand gripping his forearm and holding him in place. He smiled at the waitress, thanking her, and waited for her to bustle away before turning to Levi.

"Don't go." He suggested. He didn't plead. "At least share dessert. I couldn't possibly eat it all."

And, somehow, he managed to get Levi to sit back down. He managed to get him to eat half of the banana dessert. He managed to get him back in the Mercedes. He managed to take him back to his penthouse, and into the bedroom.

It was then that Levi regained the hope that maybe they were on the same page after all. He hoped until Erwin presented him with another obnoxiously large shirt, and helped him out of his binder, and tucked him into bed. He hoped until he was wrapped up in the strong arms as the blonde slept.

He'd fucked up.

After about a month of going out to ridiculously fancy places and not having sex, it dawned on him that maybe Erwin wasn't just after his body. Rather, he admitted to himself what he'd known all along. And it left him conflicted, unsure of how he ought to proceed. He was sure Erwin was aware that, going in, Levi had just been after sex. And there was a part of that still was.

Yet the man had persisted, and continued to invite him out. There was another part of Levi that wanted to think that, maybe, Erwin was actually interested in working something out. In dating. In a relationship.

Every time he considered a relationship, he felt his stomach begin to churn. That word never bode well, never ended well. It always left him feeling broken, ugly, empty, alone. No one every truly wanted him. It was his own fault, and he knew it. His body was one thing, but it wasn't the main problem. He knew that his personality problems were something no one wanted to deal with, something that only he could fix. He knew he was mean, and rude, and altogether unlikeable.

But Erwin still called.

It took that whole month to even get the man to kiss him. He got excited, but the blonde kept it chaste, barely a brush before he settled down and pulled Levi to his chest for sleep. Just like everything, it was conflicting. It didn't make sense. Erwin didn't make sense.

What did the man want?

Levi had never been one for pleasantries. One of his many character flaws that made him an unlovable heathen. He'd never been good at wording things so they sounded less abrasive. He didn't like to overthink things. Maybe he should start spending more time on it, though.

"Do you ever plan on fucking me, or are you just stringing me along?" He asked, ignoring the startled little breath Erwin let out as he was pulled from a doze. It took him a few seconds to get his bearings before he laid back on the pillows again with a sigh.

"I think this conversation would be better had in the morning." Erwin replied, pulling the smaller man closer.

"No. I want to talk about it now." Levi replied. If Erwin was going to insist on trying to like him, then he was going to get to know the ever-petulant side of him too.

Another sigh, some shuffling, and Erwin sat up, pulling the string of the lamp to bathe them in dim orange light. Levi blinked, giving his eyes time to focus on the other man.

Erwin didn't look amused, though he also didn't look angry. Even with his hair mussed, he looked so authoritative. It wasn't fair.

"Levi-" He began, voice tired.

"No, I want you to listen." The smaller man said, eyes narrow. Erwin quieted, giving a small nod. "It's great and all that you're having a good time, but you're being an asshole. You were fully aware of my intentions, and you… You tricked me." He pointed out. Erwin didn't argue.

"I didn't call you looking for a date. I didn't call you looking for a relationship. You can't just take advantage of me, and force me into a relationship like this. I want a straight fucking answer out of you."

Erwin waited, as if he expected more. When none came, he just reached out and ran his fingers through Levi's hair.

"My straight fucking answer is that I would like to have a relationship with you. If you don't want to, that's a choice you have every right to make. I, however, have made the choice that I want more than just a one night stand from you."

Levi blinked, mind processing too slowly. Rather, it was incapable of processing the words, seeing as he never expected to hear them.

"What?" Was his eventual, eloquent answer. Erwin just sighed, turning the lamp off and reaching for him, laying back down.

"Please, save it for the morning." He plead, already nodding off again. Levi would claim he was too tired to fight the embrace. He'd claim that, after a few minutes of being stunned, he didn't lay his hand over Erwin's where it rested on his hip. He'd claim he'd done it in his sleep.

In the morning, Erwin made breakfast. He didn't eat it, just held Levi to his chest while the smaller man ate, pressing his cheek against the back of dark hair. They didn't really talk about it.

They went out for Italian that night.

Another month, and Hanji noticed that something was up. So, of course, Hanji saw fit to interfere.

"Levi~!" They cooed, hanging on him while he made a latte for a customer. Ever the best manager.

"Get the fuck off of me." He growled, handing the scared looking woman her drink. She beat a hasty retreat. Marco and Bertholdt gave him sympathetic looks.

"Why you gotta be so rude?" Hanji inquired. Levi groaned, already knowing where this was going.

"I swear to fucking god if you sing that song one more fucking time I will legitimately shove you into the coffee grinder and turn it on fine." He hissed. Hanji, thankfully, seemed to sense that he wasn't joking, and backed off.

"Aww, Levi, what's the matter? Has my big man fallen in love?" They inquired.

Levi continued to be baffled by Hanji's innate ability to constantly say the exact wrong thing. He could only gape for a long time, eventually finding it in him to storm off into the back and clock out three hours early. He left before Hanji had a chance to question him about it.

He walked his ass right into Erwin's office, ignoring his secretary and the look he received upon entering while Erwin was on the phone.

"…I apologize, but I'll have to call you back." He said, a moment passing before he hung up. He looked up expectantly.

"I want to fuck."

Erwin sighed, sitting back in his chair.

"Levi, I-"

"I'm not fucking around anymore. You've had your fucking dates. I want your fucking dick."

"I am working at the moment, and-"

"I don't give two shits what you're doing." Levi spat, walking up to the desk and climbing onto it without hesitation. "Get in your fucking car, take me to your fucking apartment, and fucking fuck me for fuck's sake!" He seethed.

Erwin didn't move, Levi took a breath.

"I have humored you for two months. Now humor me." He said, his voice returning to his typical monotone.

A beat, and Erwin beckoned him closer, holding him around the waist and helping him down from the desk, pulling him into his lap.

"Is it my turn to talk?" He inquired, brushing his fingers across the smaller man's cheek. Levi glared, but opted to keep quite.

"Levi, I need to understand. You seem to have this need for physicality, yet you aggressively reject the mere idea of a relationship. But, even so, you don't seem adverse to affection, per se. I can't wrap my mind around what exactly it is that you want." He explained.

Levi narrowed his eyes.

"I told you what I want." He reminded the other man. Erwin captured his bottom lip between his teeth, the first imperfect gesture Levi had ever seen on the man. It was captivating.

"Why are you so insistent on sex?" The blonde wondered.

"Why are you so uninterested in it?" Levi fired back, the trembling of his lip giving away the emotions he was desperately working to fight down. He was making things so much worse. He couldn't stop, though. "If you don't want to fuck because of my body, just fucking say it. I'm tired of not knowing. I'm tired of being insecure. Either fess up, or just… Just fuck me. That's all I want from you." He breathed, brows drawn together with frustration at his own weakness.

Erwin was quite a long moment. His pauses were frequent, but well placed, always building up an anticipation that Levi was growing used to feeling around the other man.

"You say you want sex, but you haven't lost interest yet, despite me not giving it to you. Do you want to know what I think?" He asked.

"Not particularly." Levi bit.

"I think you don't know what you want." Erwin informed him anyway.

Levi stiffened, pushing back to gain enough space to scowl.

"I just told you what I want."

Erwin didn't move, just stared him down.

"And if I were to tell you I'm asexual?" The blonde finally inquired.

Levi's whole existence shuddered, his eyes widening more than they had in a very long time. His mind whirred to catch up to the new information, frozen for a time as he considered the implications. Asexual? He'd spent so much time trying to get into the pants of an asexual?

But was that really why he'd spent so much time with Erwin?

Would he leave just because of it? That hardly seemed fair. They'd spent so much time together, it wasn't as if he could just stop-

Fuck.

Erwin finally cracked a small smile.

"I'm not, Levi. But if I was, it should have sent you running for the hills just now. Me not obliging you for two months should have sent you running. Yet here we are. I'm still not going to bend you over my desk, and you're still in my lap."

Levi took a breath, unable to deny the truth of it. Would he have walked away if Erwin had really been asexual? Could he have? After two months?

"I told you that your gender identity is of no consequence to me. That is not what has kept me from sleeping with you, and I think, somewhere deep down, you know that. What I think what you really need to do right now, instead of barging into my office and scaring my secretary half to death, is go and rethink what it is you truly want form me." Erwin suggested, shifting until he could slide Levi off of his lap.

The smaller man walked out wordlessly, yet again ignoring the secretary as he took his leave, walking mechanically to his apartment and collapsing onto the couch.

Fuck.

He was in so much deeper than he had dared to admit, even to himself. Especially to himself.

Erwin was right. If he was really just after sex, then why had he let Erwin take him out at all? Why several times? Why two months? Why had he bothered with the man in the first place? Why had Hanji's comment been the thing that made him bring it up again after a month?

Levi hated admitting that he was lying, especially to himself.

He was scared.

He was scared, and insecure, and was honestly glad that Erwin hadn't slept with him yet. He was scared because no one ever really cared, but he was too tired of being alone to argue. He'd let this get out of hand, let Erwin get too close, let him see more of himself than he'd let anyone in a very, very long time. And once he let himself think about it, it quickly became clear why. After what felt like a hundred tourists-

He might have found a resident.

He wasn't marketing himself very favorably, though. He was putting ugly paint on his walls to scare off those that might not appreciate the true beauty of what he was. To cover up how much he had to offer, hide it from those that weren't willing to work for it.

But Erwin hadn't batted a lash. He'd slowly been painting Levi with new colors, colors he hadn't expected might compliment him, yet were doing him wonders.

He really needed to stop visualizing himself as an old house.

It was dark when he darted outside. The time was a mystery to him, but he wasn't Nancy Drew, and he didn't give a fuck. His feet were on a mission, and he wasn't about to be swayed by the moon and the stars. The doorman to Erwin's apartment might have something to say, though. Rich people in rich apartments really thought they needed ridiculous amounts of security.

But he didn't say anything, just nodding Levi into the lobby.

Levi went to the desk, explaining to the woman working that he needed to go to the penthouse. She just smiled and waved him towards the elevator.

"Uh, is it common practice to just let anyone up? Shouldn't you buzz me in or something?" He inquired. He'd never come alone, so he'd always just gone up with Erwin. He assumed there was a screening courtesy for visitors, though. She snickered as politely as she could.

"He's expecting you, Levi." She replied.

The man bristled at the sound of his own name, then his eyes narrowed. Expecting him, huh?

Still, he got into the elevator and went up, the ride seeming to take forever. Who the hell lived in a penthouse anyway? What a ridiculous lifestyle.

Erwin's home took up the entire top floor, a small hallway from the elevator aside, so it wasn't hard picking which door he was going to let himself into.

Erwin was sat on the couch, lounging with a glass of something amber. He looked incredibly unsurprised to see Levi, even leaning over and grabbing another glass, which he presented in Levi's direction.

The shorter man closed the door, then took the glass and a seat, taking a gulp of what turned out to be rum and sighing.

"…It's come to my attention that I am an asshole." Levi began. Erwin chuckled, reaching over and grabbing him by the hip, carefully pulling him into his lap.

"At least you're handsome." The blonde offered, running his fingers through Levi's hair yet again, pulling him to rest against his collar after a moment. "I see you've done some thinking." He added.

"I have." Levi agreed.

"And have you come to any conclusions?" Erwin prompted.

"Aside from my being an asshole?" The smaller asked, as if for clarity. "I guess. I've concluded that I'm childish, selfish, and very, very tired. So if you'd just kiss me, that'd be great." He replied.

Erwin chuckled, taking their drinks and setting them aside before pulling the man in his lap closer, cupping his jaw as he brought their lips together. It wasn't painfully chaste this time. Instead, it was a prolonged meeting, a moment to breathe each other in and just bask in it for a moment.

Levi couldn't remember ever being kissed quite the same way. It was always either a quick, nervous kiss, or a sloppy, drunk, painful kiss full of teeth and need.

Erwin's arms held him so gently, though. He'd never noticed how Erwin dealt with him physically until just then. He'd never paid any mind to the way his hand trailed soft circles around the small of his back, or the way the other hand carefully held his thigh, pulling him just that much closer.

Loving was the word, he supposed. It was a horrendously strange to think it, though. It wasn't commonly part of his vocabulary. But that's what Erwin was.

The way he kissed down his jaw, down his neck. The way he ran fingers through his hair. The way he paused a moment just to press his ear to Levi's chest, to hear the beat. Loving.

It scared him, made his heart beat too fast. Or was that nerves? How long had it been since he'd been nervous about intimacy? But then, this intimacy was in more than just the physical sense. This intimacy was all kissing and holding hands and whispering sweet things to pass the days.

That was what scared him.

But that's what drew him in as well, he supposed. After all, Levi was a masochist at heart.

So he let Erwin kiss down the hollow of his throat, let himself be held against the sturdy body he'd been after for months now. This was more than he'd been given before, and earlier that same day he might have eaten up the attention before it escaped him. But now he just basked in it, enjoyed the feeling of something being right for once.

He liked the way that he fit against Erwin. He liked the amount of space between his legs that it took to accommodate the man's hips. He liked the way he had to pull Erwin's face down for a kiss. He liked the way that Erwin's hands fit into the annoying curve of his waist as if he was putting a puzzle together.

He liked the way Erwin kissed him.

He liked the way Erwin could carry him to the bedroom without so much as a grunt of effort. He liked the way the blonde laid him out on the bed and teased him out of his clothes.

He loved that he didn't even notice when the binder came off.

It had never really been a source of shame for him. He had long accepted the binder as a part of himself. He also accepted what was underneath as a part of himself, regardless of how temporary he hoped it would be. But still, there was always a moment of hesitation when he began undoing the clasps, a moment of crippling dysphoria that stilled his hands and made him shake. It was just an instant, but it was also a constant.

Except, it didn't come. He didn't even realize the constricting fabric was gone until Erwin was kissing down his chest. And, even then, he didn't freeze. He just leaned into the feeling, closing his eyes.

It was the first time that Erwin had really looked at him naked. He'd taken the binder off before, but always with a shirt between them. Now he was lain entirely bare, but Erwin didn't stare like most people did. He stared, sure, but it was different.

Others stared at him like he was an exhibit. Like he was a sideshow. Something strange, something baffling.

Erwin stared at him like he was a favorite piece of art. Like he was beautiful, familiar, yet endlessly enchanting.

It made his breath stutter. He'd blame it on the binder to his grave.

It was a shock when Erwin stopped, but not really surprising. Somewhere in his mind, Levi knew that Erwin wasn't trying to work him up to arousal. He was just saying what he knew Levi was still too scared to hear.

He didn't protest when the bigger man, after stripping as well, pulled him close yet again, bathing them in darkness and settling in for sleep. How could he complain? Just feeling the warmth passing between their skin was enough to sate him.

Wow, he was getting grossly sentimental already. Still, it felt nice. And admitting that you've been lying to yourself for ages is tiresome, he'd come to find out.

So he let himself fall into sleep, comfortable with the idea since he knew Erwin would be sure to catch him, his strong arms sure to keep him safe even if he were to hurtle towards the ground.

Hanji was distressingly chipper at work the next day. Their sixth sense for the emotional state of their crew was uncanny, and provided endless irritation for Levi. Thank whatever powers that be that Hanji was on good behavior, though, keeping their visible glee mostly quiet, save a few, randomly dispersed excited squeals.

They didn't say anything when Levi packed up some cookies that hadn't gotten baked all the way through, nor when he made two coffees instead of his usual one. Levi shot them a look as he clocked out, rolling his eyes when they only responded with noises of excitement.

Even as he walked out, he could hear them rambling loudly to all of the other employees that 'my little Levi FINALLY has a boyfriend~! They grow up so fast-"

He tactfully didn't comment that he was older by a few months, beating a quick retreat.

It was Saturday, so he skipped the office and went straight to Erwin's apartment. He was let in with a smile and a disgustingly charming kiss. He countered by shoving the coffee and cookies into the man's hands.

Erwin took a peek inside the bag, then smiled.

"You brought me cookies?"

"I brought you slightly cooked dough, you disgusting cretin." Levi spat, shuffling over to the couch and sitting with a huff, distracting himself from a sunnily-smiling Erwin by sipping at his own coffee.

"I'm flattered you remembered how much I love raw cookies." The blonde chuckled, sitting down as well and taking one from the package. Levi watched him eat it, lip curled.

"That's seriously gross." He commented. Erwin just kissed him. They didn't taste quite so bad secondhand, he decided.

That was a weird thought.

Somehow raw cookies led to making out on the couch. Levi wasn't about to question it. He didn't have it in him to fight Erwin's flights of fancy anymore. He just wondered where this one was going to lead them.

Judging by the way Erwin's hand kept skirting over the front of his pants, he had an idea, though.

"Mmm, Erwin?" He called, pulling back and taking a few breaths. Erwin allowed it, giving him the attention he'd asked for. "How far are you taking this? Because if you aren't planning on fucking me, then I suggest you move your leg." He said, grinding against it for emphasis.

Erwin grinned. It wasn't that professional smile he usually gave. It was wolfish, mischievous, and spoke volumes about exactly how much the man had wanted to oblige Levi all along. The smaller man swallowed.

He found himself in the bedroom before he could even notice he'd been hauled up into powerful arms. Erwin laid him down, tugging the hem of his shirt until it rode up enough that his lips could dance along his stomach.

Even as he shivered, Levi opened his mouth to speak.

"It's not even six, you old man." He complained. Erwin knew he didn't mean it. He still laughed though. That's the only acknowledgement his comment got, as Erwin got busy getting their clothes off again, kissing every inch he could reach as he went.

It was enough to have Levi shaking. He couldn't find his shame as he parted his legs, biting his lip as he looked at Erwin, hoping his eyes conveyed what he wanted.

Erwin was a good translator.

Erwin was also a good linguist. Or, at least, his lingual skills were good. Cunnilingual skills, that is. Levi mused that he ought to do stand-up. Until he was moaning too loud to think about much other than the way Erwin could move his tongue.

"Fuck-" He hissed, arching off the mattress a bit. Erwin didn't comment, a bit preoccupied. "Seriously, Erwin, if you don't stop-" He had to halt his words to accommodate a low groan. "I'm going to cum. I'm not fucking playing." He added.

In his defense, he was pent up. It'd been ages since someone had been interested in having sex, let alone worried about getting him off. Erwin was clearly on a mission though. Not even five minutes and Levi felt his legs trembling, pressure making the muscles in his thighs clench until he went entirely slack with a quiet moan. Erwin let him catch his breath.

The man's lips glistened when he reemerged, and Levi barely ducked out of the way quick enough to avoid a kiss.

"Gross." He commented, eyes narrowed.

"It's your own cum, Levi, I hardly-" Erwin began.

"Gross." Levi repeated. The blonde just rolled his eyes, kissing him anyway. He curled his lips in disgust, but didn't argue further.

Erwin's fingers danced along his sides, rubbing circles into his skin until he'd come down enough to get worked up again. He picked up on it quick, too, licking and biting until Levi was a mess under him again.

He wasted no time in reaching for the bedside table, fingers searching out a little foil package. He checked the date. Levi scoffed.

"You are unreasonably goody-goody." He groused. Erwin just shrugged, opening the packet and rolling the condom on.

"I'd rather be safe than sorry. I'm sure you would too." He pointed out. Levi couldn't argue. If Erwin hadn't grabbed a condom, he wouldn't have gone further.

"Just until I can get all the useless pipes taken out." He offered. Erwin smiled, leaning down to kiss him again.

"I don't mind." He promised. Levi nodded, wrapping his legs around the other man's waist and tugging him forward as much as he could.

"That's great. Don't get me worked up and then leave me hanging." He grumbled. Erwin laughed, but obeyed without question, shifting closer and lining up. He looked up before slipping in, moving slowly. It wasn't that Levi couldn't accommodate, he was just being a fucking tease.

"You know, the one nice thing about having a vagina is that you can just get to it. You don't really need to prep or anything considering how fucking turned on I am." He hissed. Erwin gave him that grin again, the one that made his saliva feel thick. He knew exactly what he was doing. "Come on, then. Fuck me properly." He urged, nudging forward as much as he could.

And Erwin did. He fucked him so hard the headboard clattered against the wall. He fucked him until he was afraid he'd lost his vision.

He fucked him the way he'd wanted to be fucked that first night. Except it was better. It meant something. And he knew, as he fell asleep wrapped up in a protective embrace, a position he'd grown accustomed to, that it wouldn't be the last time he felt the same body pressed to his.

He sighed, scooting back to close the mere centimeters of distance that had been left between them. Erwin let out a breath in his sleep, the corners of his mouth turning up just a bit. Levi sighed again, pressing a kiss over the man's heart, letting his lips stay there as he drifted off as well.

-.-.-+-.-.-

"You're disgusting."

Erwin didn't respond, shoving another mostly-raw cookie into his mouth.

"You're going to get salmonella." Levi added.

Erwin finally cracked a smile.

"Tell Hanji I said 'thank you' for the cookies." Was all the blonde offered, not looking up from the papers he was working through.

Levi scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"As your secretary, I must urge you, Mr. Smith, to refrain from such risky culinary ventures." He droned.

Erwin finally looked up at him, a brow quirked.

"As your boss, I must urge you not to try and use your title to interfere with my eating habits." Erwin replied in the same tone of voice. Levi's brow twitched.

"As your boyfriend, I must urge you not to use your CEO status to try and force me into complacency." He shot back, tone warning. Erwin let out a laugh at that, beckoning him over. Levi came without argument, taking a seat on the edge of the desk, facing the blonde.

"Maybe you ought to keep our relationship status a bit quieter." Erwin suggested, running his fingers down the smaller man's thighs reverently. "Someone might claim I'm showing favoritism."

Levi scoffed, unabashedly letting a hand drop between his legs, rubbing at the front of his jeans.

"God forbid they find out what a crooked businessman you are." He sassed. Erwin smirked, batting his hand away and replacing it with his lips. Levi's breath hitched, and he couldn't help a groan when Erwin hummed against him. "Fuck. Alright. Let me lock the door." He suggested.

Erwin allowed him to escape long enough to lock the door to the office.

In what felt like a matter of seconds he was looking at the same door, only upside down as his head hung off the front of the desk, Erwin's mouth too busy getting him off to answer the phone that'd started ringing at some point.

"F-fuck, Erwin-" He breathed, biting his knuckles to keep down the loudest moans. He could feel Erwin smile, could tell how fucking pleased the bastard was with his power to reduce Levi to a trembling mess. But it wasn't like Levi couldn't do the same. He'd remind the blonde of that when they got home.

For now, though, he was content to ignore the phone and trust Erwin not to let him fall head first off the desk.

Ever the good businessman, Erwin called the person back while Levi got his pants back on properly. His conversation didn't even hitch as the smaller man plopped down in his lap, reclining against his chair and letting out a quiet breath.

His fingers came up to comb through Levi's hair, his voice still droning out some details regarding a deal he'd made with another company. Levi didn't care.

Once the conversation was over, Erwin shifted to get more comfortable, holding Levi to his chest with a loose arm.

"You're awfully affectionate today." He noted.

"Fuck you." Levi spat back.

"I love you too." Erwin laughed. Levi sighed. He'd gotten used to hearing that, after a while. The first time Erwin had said it was a nightmare, involving a lot of cursing, a broken nose, and about a week of not speaking. That was another story for another time though.

It was still hard to reply, though. No matter how much he tried to get the words past his lips, they got stuck somewhere in his throat.

It wasn't that he didn't. If he'd ever loved someone, it was Erwin. And he'd gotten to the point where he could admit that to himself. But still, the words were like too much gum in his mouth. They had been so forbidden to him for so long that forcing them out was next to impossible.

"You don't have to say it, Levi." Erwin assured. It wasn't any consolation, though.

"I need to." Levi argued. "And you need to hear it."

Still, he couldn't bring the words he needed forward, and eventually they got back to work. He forgot about it, for the most part, until he was naked, his limbs feeling heavy as he laid entirely on top of Erwin in bed, spent for the day.

A big hand traced patterns into the small of his back, bringing him close enough to sleep that his lips felt loose. He knew it was the perfect chance, and he knew better than to pass it up. It was still hard. He barely managed to mumble it.

Erwin paused, his entire body stilling for a moment.

"What?" He finally managed, sitting up a bit so he could tilt Levi's head up, could look into his eyes. That only made it harder. But if he'd done it once, he could do it again.

"I love. You. Er." He stuttered, biting his lip. "Yeah. I do. I love you." He finally managed, huffing out a breath.

It was quickly stolen from him as Erwin kissed him, hard, flipping them and pressing him into the pillows with the force of it. Levi let him, not struggling for dominance as he might at another time. He just let Erwin kiss him, and somehow managed to work up enough energy for one more orgasm. It was hard to say no when Erwin was practically radiating this electric elation.

He nearly passed out as he came, vision going black for a moment. He opened his eyes to Erwin kissing him again.

"I love you, Levi." The blonde said between the meetings of their lips. Levi rolled his eyes, but managed to wrap his noodle-arms around the other man's neck, pulling him close until they both became too tired to keep it up.

He settled into what had become their ritualistic position, pressing his lips to Erwin's heart with the last of his energy.

"Thank you." Erwin sighed as he let his eyes close.

Levi glanced up, allowing himself a small smile.

The way Erwin held him. The way Erwin kissed him. The way Erwin fucked him into the mattress and called it making love. The way he said "I love you." The way he managed to get Levi to say the same. There was no doubt about it.

He'd found his resident.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this monstrous thing took me a relatively short amount of time to write. I kind of got obsessed with it. It would have been done sooner, but you know, life.
> 
> If you weren't aware, this is a sidestory that takes place in the Take Me to the Riot universe, so if there were any details that seemed sort of strange, they might be better explained in the original. Granted, there really aren't many details about Levi in there, so the only thing it would really explain would be his workplace and how he got where he was at the beginning of the story.
> 
> I've learned, through this and another sidestory I've done in the past, that I actually love writing for Erwin and Levi. They've got this strange dynamic that really clicks with the way I write. It's just really easy for me to do, so this was a relaxing piece to work on.
> 
> I'm considering doing an Armin/Eren sidestory as well, considering it's been requested. We'll see what I can come up with. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this little (cough*Massive*cough) sidestory as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wish I could blabber on endlessly as I always do, but I must be getting to work.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love feedback if you have the time.
> 
> Till next time!
> 
> KuroRiya  
> 九六りや


End file.
